How To Tell If You’re Gay, Bisexual Or Straight?


Sexuality is fluid. A lot of people hear this sentence and find themselves confused: what does that mean? Sexuality is a fluid, like water? Why does that sentence affect me? In simpler terms, sexuality is something that can change. One day you could wake up feeling like kissing a boy, while the next you might see a girl and want to know more, which is all perfectly okay. There are many tips and tricks to understanding your sexuality, whether you’re confused or out in the open with your questions.

One of the most rewarding, but also hardest tricks to try is allowing yourself to take your time. Sometimes ideas, concerns and questions come to you in a haze, but little do you know at the time, that the answers always come at some point too. Within a couple of years a lot of your worries and concerns will work out.

They say patience is a virtue for a reason, probably because it’s so hard, so there’s definitely more ways to try to understand your identity if you want answers a bit quicker, as long as you keep in mind that it’s not a question that needs an urgent answer. Whether you’re a male or female, being gay is something that is simply felt. If they idea that you might be into the same sex pops into your head, there’s a pretty good chance you might be bisexual or gay. A lot of people say they could never imagine themselves spending the rest of their lives with somebody of the same sex and consider themselves straight for that reason alone, but it’s important to realize how normal homosexuality is in today’s world. Since the majority of people are used to see heterosexual relationships on movies and in the mainstream media, imagining a life where you are considered outside of the norm can be hard to manage, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not possible for you.

Another way to figure out if you are gay or bisexual, truly, is to think about your attraction. If you are a girl, when you look at a girl, what do you think? Do you notice girls as often as you notice boys? Do you ever notice boys? If you are a young boy, do you notice girls or boys more? Beyond attraction is the connection you feel with members of the same sex and the opposite sex. Some people feel attraction to all sexes, but only feel the connection needed to have a relationship with one or the other. Since you will never really know what connection you have, the only way to discover if you’re gay, bisexual or straight is to try it out. Go on dates with girls and boys and decide whether or not you get the butterflies in your stomach and nervousness that makes you crave more.

Read also: Frequently Asked Questions about Lesbian Dating

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What Is It Like Being a Lesbian?

lesbian q & a

Being a lesbian is more or less the same with being straight.

Lesbians lead very similar lives to all people. They try to find that someone special; They enjoy being with one that they care for; They sometimes hook up without intending for a relationship; Some of them are looking for long term committed relationships while some of them choose to have a different commitment arrangement; They also want to build a life with someone once they’ve met the ‘right person’ and they plan for a family.

It is the same experience to be in love, chase love, keep it, relate to loved ones and build a life together. However, there is stigma that makes it hard for lesbians to do pretty normal things.

Here are some typical problems that gay girls are facing:

  • Religious institutions

  • Cultural prejudices:

    In developed countries, most people aren’t curious about how your lesbian dating works, or a man or woman you are with. It’s just impolite and not interesting to talk about it. However, in societies where women don’t even go to the market without their husband’s approval, 95% people want to know why you are not married. It’s not easy explaining to a woman who will never be allowed to leave the country by herself that you are a gay girl and you don’t feel you need a man.

    Sometimes it can be a big deal for lesbians who are from certain racial or cultural backgrounds, for example,  a traditional Indian family. Indian girls are expected to get married to a man by a certain age. I visited India and met many gay Indian women. I’ve noticed that most of gay women married men they didn’t care for, or married gay men, and then had a sexless, not-intimate relationship for the rest of their lives, having secret trysts or lovers on the side.  One Indian gay girl  told me: “Sometimes you walk down a street with your date or your girlfriend and some asshole guy will shout at you: you fucking lesbians. Come let me take you home and show you what a real man is like.”

  • Family expectations

    It will take some time for the family to come at a point where they don’t really talk about it, but you all know it’s there , which is common for most traditional families on any uncomfortable issue, and as close to acceptance as you can hope for.

  • Getting pregnant and then legally recognized isn’t a possibility in many countries, and you need a lot of money

So in a word, being a lesbian is fairly normal, but involves some amount of soul searching.  Being a lesbian needs you to figure out relationships with family, loved ones and other people. And, you will find it hard to set up a family. But more importantly, it means that you will date, love, and live like a normal human being.

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The Most Famous 8 Celebrity Lesbian Couples

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi

Are you a woman seeking same for a relationship? You’re in good company! There are actually quite a few ‘out’ lesbian couples out there in Tinseltown. Although they may keep their relationships relatively private, they have shared their relationship status with the various news outlets, and occasionally details of their fabulous lives. Read on to find out more about these romantic couples that have us reaching for the celebrity gossip magazines for updates on their glamorous lives.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi

This celebrity couple is the best known lesbian couple in Hollywood. Ellen, one of the most famous talk-show hosts, and Portia, the star of Ally McBeal, have been together since 2004 and married in 2008. They live a happy and comfortable life in California, where they grace the red carpet regularly, and reportedly cook at home and spend time with their many pets.

Jillian Michaels and Heidi Rhoades

It’s a match made in fitness heaven. While Jillian, who has been out for many, many years, is a personal trainer and the host of NBC’s The Biggest Loser, a television weight loss competition, Heidi is a successful yoga instructor. The couple, who have been together for years, have two children and call each other their life partners.

Jane Lynch and Lara Embry

Jane, the star of Glee, and Lana, a psychiatrist, have been married since 2010. The couple enjoys spending time hiking, cooking and doing other domestic things together, and reading. They have also been seen together on the red carpet and their relationship is still going strong today.

Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry

Sara, an actress who has appeared on The Big Bang Theory, and Linda a songwriter and musician, have been married for more than a decade and have two children. They have said that they are very comfortable together, call themselves a ‘regular’ and down-to-earth couple.

Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner

Comedian and actress Lily and writer Jane have been together since the 1970s, but have only been open about their relationship for the last 15 or so. They married in 2014 and are one of Hollywood’s longest-lasting couples, lesbian or straight. Kudos to them!

Jenny Shimizu and Michelle Harper

Supermodel Jenny, who has dated Angelina Jolie, is currently dating longtime girlfriend Michelle, a fashion brand consultant. Both are gorgeous women and this couple is one of the most beautiful, lesbian or straight, in Hollywood.

Chely Wright and Lauren Blitzer

Chely, a country music singer, is married to marketing guru Lauren. Chely came out in 2010 and announced her relationship soon after. The couple have two little boys, twins.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson

Lindsay, a troubled actress, singer and model who appeared in The Parent Trap and Mean Girls and is just as well known for her trips in and out of the courtroom and rehab, and Samantha, a well-known Hollywood DJ, are no longer together, but we couldn’t resist adding this couple, who made headlines for their relationship. The two are said to remain friends after their breakup in 2013.

If you are looking for lesbian dating sites, read our reviews to find the best lesbian dating site for you now.

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